Brain Injury Association of Waterloo-Wellington

Explanation of Mask

My mask represents a few of the struggles I’m dealing with.

The doors (one facing in and one facing out) tries to show that what you see on the outside isn’t the same inside.

I’m hoping that that over time, the caterpillar will turn into a beautiful butterfly.

I am sad and angry about my current situation and I try to put up a shield to protect myself.

Explanation of Mask

If there is one word I would use to describe what it is like living with post-concussion syndrome on a day to day basis it is “frustration”. I look “fine”, “healthy”, “normal”. On the surface, I am no different than I was BC (before concussion). But sometimes life must go on, and what people can’t see is that behind my actions is a mild headache-I’ve learned to ignore. Mild headaches because they are pretty much a daily occurrence. People don’t notice me sitting in my car to let symptoms settle, instead of simply getting in and driving away.

The uncertainty of my future causes anxiety. If I think too far into the future I can’t plan, I get depressed thinking of my “10-year plan” on indefinite hold. I get depressed thinking I may never be “normal” again. Will I be able to return to work? Will I be able to clean an entire room in my house without a nap? Am I relying too much on my kids when I should be doing more for them?

I have to plan ahead. If it’s a therapy day, don’t plan anything big. The wonderful new LED lights are so bright they make me dizzy without sunglasses. I’ve cried at TV commercials without understanding why. But above all of this, above the surface, the world sees that I am “normal” and “healthy”.

Lucky to be alive. It’s bright and sunny and they don’t understand how difficult it can be to get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other.

Explanation of Mask

Frontal lobe-red represents injury. Stroke occurred during surgery. It was shocking to me as I was well, happy, successful and close to retirement. It shook my confidence and joy.

I felt everyone was looking at my deficits. Struggled to improve physically and mentally.

My husband was a wonderful support and my family worked together to help me heal.

Explanation of Mask

The top part of my mask is my world in pieces. The bottom part represents me recovering and putting my life back together.

There is a saying that it takes a village to raise a child, well, it also takes a village to recover from brain injury. I couldn’t have done it without the support of my family, friends and therapy team.

I also knew God was with me every step of the way.

After the accident one of my life mottos became: just because I have to do it differently, doesn’t mean I can’t do it.

Explanation of Mask

In the eyes through someone else

• Darkness leading to light and glimpses of happiness
• Humour to guide through difficult times
• Learning to allow yourself to be happy
• Surrounding yourself with things that make you happy: dogs, fishing
• The flow of the river sometimes peaceful, sometimes turbulent
• Overload of emotions: Anger, distracted, fearful, pain, frustrated
• Moving towards positive trusting, appreciative, capable, strong, learning to be relaxed

Explanation of Mask

The aqua color that I picked was to match the tattoo on my right forearm. I chose it because it matched with the other color.

The elephant picture is because they are almost extinct and elephants protect their young and stay together for life. I picked the three stooges because they are funny, they make people laugh and I’m happy also, I love to laugh.

The devil and the angel came about at the day program that I go to. Staff would say I’m a little devil and I put my hands together and my halo and pretend, and it has stuck-Awesome!!

Explanation of Mask

I was diagnosed having 1/3 of my brain above average for someone my age, 1/3 average, and 1/3 damaged or below normal.

• 1/3 above represents before the accident: happy at administrative work, medical first responder, hosting international children, etc.…
• 1/3 average represents the accident, lucky to be only me as I dropped off my student at new residence near 401 and Wellington. Sleeping a lot, lost job, no one listening because no physical injuries.
• 1/3 below average represents someone who listened (Hamilton Health Sciences Hospital), crafts, painting, papier-mache, crochet, knitting, and word puzzles were healing.

Thank you for the opportunity to express myself. Met some lovely people. We are not alone.

Explanation of Mask

Black half represents daily pain I go through as well as all the physical struggles that have come since the injury.

Yellow half represents some of the things that continue to being me joy post-injury

Explanation of Mask

 I feel different. I used to be vibrant, confident, energetic, colorful.  I brought magic to my family’s world. Now I do not. I am like beige, colorless. Disconnected from my soul. I am not depressed.

I am just like a fairy with wet wings. Someday they will dry and I will fly again. Maybe just not as high.

Explanation of Mask

Most days as I struggle to put the pieces of my life back together. I feel overwhelmed. I feel lost in a world where no one understands my struggle.

Some days are good but sooner or later I set back. I am a mish-mash of feelings. I’m grateful to have survived but some days I feel like the “walking wounded”.

Make up and fake smiles make me appear to be “normal” to those who expect or want that from me.

I miss the high energy I used to have. It makes me feel sad.

I too often feel overwhelmed!

Explanation of Mask

 It has now been 20 years since my car accident. There have been many ups and downs. Today after many years of doctors, therapists, counselling, MRI’s etc…

I can now say I feel comfortable with this new version of Donna. My mask represents the area of my head on the left side where I still experience problems; the blue drops represent the tears; and the pink heart drops represent the joy and happiness.

A huge part of my recovery was to change my outlook, thinking and beliefs. The thought bubbles are the positive thinking I practice now.

The hearts on the cheek represent the love and support that I have now; and the feelings of gratitude.

Explanation of Mask

 One side is bright and full of hope and loving life, enjoying life, involved in everything I enjoy.

The other side is full of stress, hopelessness, forgetfulness, pain, the unknown. The black squiggly line is the shooting lightning bolt pains that I get very often on the left side.

I just want my life back.

Explanation of Mask

Blue/Turquoise represents my “essence” even under the black “pie shape” which represents the accident and chronic head pain.

The dove represents my faith in God and the reminder of his love in my life.

Yellow wool represents “hope” in my long and winding journey through life and how “knitting preemie hats” as a volunteer gave me “renewed purpose” as I’m no longer “employable”. The “buzzing” sound in my foggy brain is calmed by knitting.

The butterfly represents the major change in my life. The flowers are the serendipity bits in both my “old” and new life that remind me to appreciate and be thankful for all the wonderful things God has blessed me with despite heartache and tragedy.

I put together a mask that oozed more “hope” and positivity than what apparently I was “unmasking”.

Explanation of Mask

When I get sick, it causes my whole right side to go weak.

At that time I cannot think or speak. That’s why the right side is painted grey. I am very sensitive to light and sound. It creates sadness because I am no longer able to function at these times. It can be very discouraging at times.

The other side is painted in bright colours because there is hope even in the midst of pain. There is joy in life, even though I can’t function like everyone else. Going through difficulties makes me thankful for the good times.

After a storm, comes the sun!

Explanation of Mask

A cheerful mask full of creativity showing rainbows and peace amongst the human race.

Explanation of Mask

My mask represents my happiness in life. Happy to have survived my car accident.

It also indicates my confusion, isolation, challenges, and difficulty in my daily life.

I feel eager to learn and get better every day for the rest of my life.

I hope that people in the world will try to understand the difficulty brain injured people suffer every day.

Explanation of Mask

The colors on the mask are red for “love”, yellow for “happy” and “hope”, and orange is for “eager”.

The red color starts at the bottom and goes to the lips because it shows that love is going up.

The yellow from the nose to the top of the eyes shows the feelings that I have inside.

The forehead is orange color because it represents my brain injury and that my goals and wishes are getting there, step by step.

Explanation of Mask

It’s obvious.

It shows my exact feelings (mirror)-

Purple-Jumbled up Mind

Straight Face-Revenge from the world- (Unknown Feelings)

Explanation of Mask

On the left side is all the negative and feeling of not knowing who I am anymore. I used “Alice in Wonderland” because I can relate to her feelings of not knowing who she is and feeling insane. Like her I am realizing we are all mad in our own ways and the best kind of people usually are.

On the right is expressing my journey to self-love and acceptance. The rainbow means new hope and beginnings and I’m sick of being scared of my internal storm. So I decided to become the storm. So now I say “I have travelled through madness to find me”-Danny Alexander

Explanation of Mask

Having two separate personalities.

On the inside your mind is a complete mess. You can’t concentrate on anything and because of the brain damage you can’t remember what happened more than 5 minutes ago.

On the outside you look completely normal, as if there is nothing wrong!

Brings a VERY true meaning to “There’s more than meets the eye!”

NEVER judge someone by what you see! You just don’t know their story!

Explanation of Mask

Superman”

“Hit the Road Jack”

Explanation of Mask

“Happy to be Alive!”

I have come a long way since I had my brain injury 7 years ago.

I accept who I am and what I have become. I cheerfully look forward to each day. I am open to new challenges.

My ‘bucket list’ is prepared for much enjoyment in the future. I am helpful when needed by other clients. I always greet people with a smile as I love to see their eyes light up and smile back at me. I like being a humorous individual as “laughter is the best medicine”.

It makes for a bright future knowing that I can make someone’s day just a little happier and be glad to be alive just like myself-THE END!

Explanation of Mask

Portrays 3 selves: Pre-accident, accident and coping, my new identity.

• Feeling strong, alive. Felt connected and independent. Athletic- competed in triathlons and won in my age category.
• After the accident, very overwhelmed, clouds overshadowing, seeking “who am I?” felt very alone, cut and scar on my head a permanent reminder.
• Triumph over fear, advocating for myself, green represents growth and creating the new me and being ok with who I am. So thankful for the ongoing support, understanding of family and friends. Feeling more connected.

Explanation of Mask

The tears would represent depression, and the colors and shapes scattered around would represent distractions for everyone looking at it.

Explanation of Mask

The sun shines down on everyone and gives life.

The mask looks up to the sun because growth and positivity is always possible.

Explanation of Mask

Purple and pink are my favourite.

Purple is dark so it’s me since my brain injury. I have become somebody I don’t like at times when I can’t remember stuff.

Pink represents who I was before because I was a lot happier. Frustration is what makes me upset a lot of the time because of the memory issue.

Explanation of Mask

“Pre & Post Accident” Left side (colorful) Right (blue)

As a Chartered Professional Accountant, I was a very cheerful, energetic, positive, powerful individual. This is shown by the colorful, bright mask representing pre-accident. Words are not necessary to describe pre-accident as the left side is full of great expressions.

Post-accident, the blue side of the mask requires words to describe the “new” me, as I look the same as before however emotionally opposite! Blue paint explains the feeling of being sad.

Although I may look the same, I’m completely different on the inside. I am no longer the person I used to be and need to work on accepting the new “me”. Hopefully one day I will be able to regain the more pleasant attitude and emotions I once had.

Best part of this brain injury I sustained is meeting friends alike and sharing stories of recovery.

Explanation of Mask

Through the three years now of dealing with this life altering accident, I have learned with much practice, how to help myself to look differently at this incident.

I have found that a positive twist on a negative thought has been very beneficial. Being mindful and purposeful is the gift.

Each day is amazing and something good will always be found.

Being present minded and in my moment is starting to make sense.

Explanation of Mask

I have endeavoured to develop each side differently to reflect the duality of my thoughts, feelings, and experiences in my changed and changing life.

The “busyness” of my mask or the clutter shows how very full my mind feels always! I move in and out of both positive and negative experiences rapidly.

The gray side of the mask reflects struggles and challenges while the pink side is my experience of joy, hope and gratitude.

The lace gag delicately binds my mouth as I struggle sometimes with filtering what occurs in my mind- the realm of emotions/feelings/thoughts and understanding and expressing them.

Explanation of Mask

BE STILL AND KNOW…

I am White – draws a blank, empty, confused flesh. Slowly finding myself again.

Target/bullseye – pain and headache radiating to other parts of my head & body.

Eyes – not working together, dizzy, no peripheral vision, difficult to focus

3 battery packs – depleted energy, focus, needing to take time to recharge

Dribbling letters – struggling with slurred speech, word retrieval, processing communications

Words DIFFERENT, LONELY, CHALLENGED – I will never be like I was before. Grieving my losses

Words KIND, DETERMINED, GRACIOUS – Things I have learned to become grateful for

Explanation of Mask

Painting the mask, wearing the mask, living the mask. Head injury is so similar to choosing to hide; to shelter oneself from the chaos of comparison. To find security by being withdrawn from the society that at one time; was perhaps comfortable. In the present, a mask might show the assumed strength and security a survivor of brain injury looks to assimilate with.

However, this mentality may be flawed? A survivor need not hide their face behind a mask; their experience and trauma need to be shared and heard. If these replicas of traumatic experiences could speak, each one would simply say “please listen to me”. But we need to also remember “we cannot start living the next chapter of our lives if we continuously reread, reiterate the old one continuously.

Life is a gift. We are all meant to live the present”.

Explanation of Mask

 “My Mind”

‘twas an early autumn morn

the mist arising from the harbour

sitting on the balcony, staring out

there is a sailboat in the bay

bobbing listlessly, the wind a mere flutter

no motor, unable to move out to sea

without warning, I am that sailboat

Explanation of Mask

There is always darkness before the light;

However the darkness still overwhelms

Happiness hides behind shades

And the shades dull the lights

There is still much to discover

Under the darkness

Emotions are endless and volatile

Waiting for the light to heal

Until then it is a roller coaster

Filled with forms, charts & data.

Explanation of Mask

I’ve cried so many tears, I can’t cry anymore.

Colours represent the three shades of my headaches:

Beige: Tolerable

Red: uncomfortable

Blue: Intolerable

Colours also represent the shift in pain and the emotions that shift with the pain.

The two halves represent what we think we see versus what cannot be seen but must be felt.

Explanation of Mask

The colors green and purple are my favorite colors, and the purple is my birthstone color. The feathers represent freedom like a bird. I picked the word confused because I enjoy confusing people at times.

Apparently, people say I’m joyful and happy and that makes me happy.

Sometimes it embarrasses me when I go places and my disability makes me unique in my own way.

Explanation of Mask

There is a side to brain injury that is invisible and on the surface I appear fine to everyone. The right side of my mask shows this. The tear is there to show the frustration and sadness that occurs when trying to explain difficulties to others or even in asking for help and it always coming across wrong BECAUSE of how I appear on the surface.

When things happen in life that throw me off or is difficult in the moment to process or make a decision, unfortunately it often comes off as behavioural issues, anger, or attitude when really it’s mostly confusion & clutter and not being able to put my thoughts together or in the right order. Inside there is a lot of turmoil and frustration and being overwhelmed with things. That is what the murky side of my mask shows although the bird on the branch shows I have not given up.

The middle part of my mask shows the imperfections (NOT the nice smooth skin coloured surface from the right) , that there is hope with acceptance (the butterfly), there is new life, and there ARE good and positive things that have happened as a result of my brain injury. I feel like I have become a better person. I am able to put myself in other people’s shoes and be more understanding.

I have also learned to be very self-aware. Once one can truly accept who they are and let go of the past, they can begin the journey to learning new things and begin to find new hope and happiness.

Explanation of Mask

A brain injury to me is temporary and though it takes a while to make steps towards who and what I once felt and looked like inside-It’s never too late to be brave and try.

I was once confused but now I am getting more creative to be the person I was before the accident.

Some days are exhausting but I remain focused and less frightened and frustrated.

I have found help and am less helpless and more hopeful. I love life and helping others and get my inspiration and peace from God. Thanks God.

I was relieved to attend tonight and enjoyed everyone. What a terrific idea for masks so we can show before and after and have fun creating a future of safety and being whole.

I am alive, have faith, hope, and love and am HAPPY (a whole person again!).

I love flowers. They separate pain from my new life today!

Explanation of Mask

Blue is a relaxing color and makes a good background for other colors.

The Joker is symbolic of the card games I play with my peers at the Opportunity Centre and the laughs and good times we have.

I love to curl and belong to several leagues. I am a star.

I am a very positive person.

Explanation of Mask

My mask shows the battle between being positive and hopeful, and loss and despair.

The black thorny roses represent sharp pain that threatens to take over my brain.

The other flowers represent hope which are slowly but surely taking back my brain.

My lips are painted black as sometimes I don’t recognize the words coming out of my mouth: I’m a different person.

I struggle to get back to the person I was before the accident, but I have learned to accept myself.

Explanation of Mask

 This mask represents the spectrum of emotion and ability following brain injury. It describes coming from the black, and moving more and more into the light.

There are setbacks and I may temporarily move backwards but since my accident.

I have “generally” moved towards the light.

Explanation of Mask

The mask describes the many illusions of brain injury:

• You look fine on the outside
• Your brain may take time to understand what you are looking at
• You stare at yourself and are not sure what you see
• Self- reflection is challenging
• Life is fragile (like the vase)
• I thought there would only be one of me, but now there is another

Explanation of Mask

 Before my accident I loved life, my job.

Now I have lost it all.

My before and after worlds need to coexist. I am now fitting the pieces from 5 different puzzles into a single puzzle.

The ones I am not able to fit will find their own place one day.