Brain Injury Association of Peel-Halton

Explanation of Mask

My mask represents who I feel I have become with this invisible brain injury from March 2011 to the present.

The red side of my mask represents the damage and the rage I felt during: my intensive rehab sessions, the loss of independence, the loss of professional life, the loss of self image and the pressures on my family. My body could not do many functions properly. I was constantly scared and overwhelmed The separate orange pieces represent only some of the losses and challenges that I have experienced as my brain struggled to make the needed connection to heal!

The Blue side of my mask represents the now calmer me who does continue to experience many of the issues caused by the Acquired Brain Injury but I am still learning to move forward and to adjust to the New ME! The blue flowing lines represent that my brain continues to heal by making meaning connections.

The yellow centre line represents my hope and the support systems that connects my feelings of range with my calmer self now.

The invisible trauma to my brain and to my whole being continues to frustrate me! Most people do not understand the needs and the constant issues experienced by brain injury survivors and their families!

My acquired brain injury is a life-long journey!!!

Explanation of Mask

From that day forward I had to change the way I life because of the pain I was dealing with. Trying to find help and explain what’s going on with me it’s hard because they don’t see the injury. I was put down many times and told to get over it. Nobody knows what you are going through until they walk in your shoes. Your brain is never the same and you try to go on living but it’s not that easy to do. The chronic pain slows you down and going out in crowds makes it even harder for a person with a brain injury. It’s just not a smack in the head, it’s your whole life that changes and you have to make adjustments to your lifestyle. More people have to understand what brain injury survivors go through because it is a rough road and you need support to get through. Short-term memories and not doing more than one thing at a time, it’s hard on a person with a brain injury and it’s very frustrating. And  short-term memory, some people take advantage of it because they know you cannot remember and you cannot defend yourself sometimes because you don’t know what went on. I am very thankful I found the support meeting in Georgetown to find out information and to make my life a little easier. But I know I still have to make life changing decisions in order to move one.

Explanation of Mask

“Identity Crisis”

• White – the shell of what once was
• Black – broken mind, physically and cognitively
  • Confusions, Questions
  • Broken Speech/language
• Gold – “Golden silence”. Can’t keep up socially, lost thoughts
• Red – Loss of self
• Green/Black – Frustration, profanity as an expression.

Explanation of Mask

“Bless”

• The red mark and silver dot represents damages
• The black represents the darkest time after injury
• Focus on what you can do NOT what you can’t
• The white. Out of the darkness and into the light
• Don’t stop fighting.

Explanation of Mask

The mask signifies the cold journey I have been on.

Explanation of Mask

Journey to Hope

Explanation of Mask

“Positive and Unknown Divide”. The mask represents that looking and feeling are two different things. The words on the mask represents the things I have experienced and still feel. It wasn’t until I went to the support group meetings that I realized other people had different injuries and have similar life experiences. I was able to express how I felt and found out others feel the same way too. It made me feel more normal because they feel similar effects. I am looking forward to more support group meetings to help me balance the positive and the unknown.

Explanation of Mask

My mask is intended to depict the two main sides of emotion, both the positive and the negative, experienced by a survivor in the aftermath of sustaining a Traumatic Brain Injury as we struggle daily through the many stages of the long term “Journey of Discovery” to understand and accept the new individuals we have become.

The lightning bolt defines the injury. Striking in a split second. Splitting the mind in its dichotomy forever. In my case, utterly and completely amazed, and thankful and so overwhelmingly grateful to be alive and perhaps even more so, not paralyzed for the rest of my life.

The right side of my mask highlights this positive. All that was so good in my life and all that still exists as such even now. So much remains the same in many ways. The “Blue Sky” and its birds. The typical facial depiction and expression you try and convey to the world everyday as you go forward, beginning to question everything you once were. Yet now sensing deep within your mind and your heart that everything has changed forever. Some subtly and some overwhelmingly catastrophic all at the same time. This side shows the fight to remain in all that is positive.

The left side of the mask shows the deep-set struggle through the negativity of the pain (nail to the forehead), the daily setbacks (lightning bolt impact, taking it on the chin), the never ending struggle of acceptance (the black eye) and the endless resulting sorrow (the tears) and anger (the red and black) to try and accept a life lost in an instant.

Explanation of Mask

Happiness and Beauty. No matter what happens to you, you can be beautiful and happy.

Explanation of Mask

My mask represents 3 things:

• My life prior to my car accident: My life before the accident was vibrant. Full of activity, fun, joyful and accomplished. I was able to work.
• My life after the accident: Since the accident, I have very little social interaction and have lost several friends. I have been unable to work since 2011 due to severe headaches, poor concentration, light and noise sensitivities, memory problems and many other post-concussion symptoms.
• How I look today: How I look today is the same, which masks the underlying issues from the brain injury. I have had to give up the hope of every having my old, high speed processing, multitasking brain back.

Explanation of Mask

When affected by a brain injury, your whole life is turned upside down. My mask represents how I feel inside emotionally, physically and mentally. It is my attempt to portray my grief of loss of my life prior to the accident and how on the outside no one can see my injuries, so they think I’m fine.

Colours in the brain area:

• Red = Anger
• Blue = Sadness
• Green and Black – Disappointment/grief and depression
• Black spots on the top left hand side+ Actual injury in my brain
• Blue tears = Sadness and disappointment
• Green = Nausea, feeling unwell, unlike myself
• Peace sign = I am not at peace
• ~ Areas being affected: memory, word finding, adjustment, constant pain, my brain and mouth working together, dizziness, headaches
• Red on cheeks = Embarrassment when I do/say the wrong thing, forget stuff or when someone tells me “I look fine”
• Rainbow & flower = I try to put on a happy face and stay positive.

Explanation of Mask

My mask is all about positivity.

I want to show people that it’s OK to have a brain injury.

Explanation of Mask

“Hotter than Hell”. One side of the mask shows the way life was before the accident.

• Sports, very calm and energetic, full of life.
• The other side shows pain, trauma, anxiety and anguish.

Explanation of Mask

Agitated, frustrated, angry, Sad and confused.

Explanation of Mask

My masks tells people that I love Rock & Roll.

I like Kiss and Alice Cooper.

Explanation of Mask

“Disconnected”. My mask is simple, a Traumatic Brain Injury leaves you feeling disconnected from yourself, family, friends, work and every aspect of daily life. The symptoms from TBI are far too long to list. There is no cure or “magic pill” to repair injuries to your brain. Only hard work and dedication to learning new strategies can help you survive day to day.

There is a quote from the textbook “Educating Educators about ABI” that really struck home when I read it, and I would like to share it with you.

“While people may have memory problems, they do not generally forget who they wanted to be before the injury. Dealing with the redefinition of one’s goals, relationships, and orientation in learning and social environment can result in feelings of hopelessness and depression. With help and understanding, these feelings can be overcome, but it takes work and dedication.”

Explanation of Mask

Each day I wake with hope. Today will be the day of I can do…..  Hope can quickly turn to frustration and anger. Through my faith and music, I can get to the end of one more day.

Explanation of Mask

I walk around everyday with a vice gripped onto my brain. When what I am doing is taking too much cognitive effort, it’s like someone is tightening the vice. Sometimes it is a quick severe tightening an sometimes it is slow and steady.

I feel like the cogs in my brain are filled with glue or honey and it is often just so hard to think. It is impossible to explain to people that thinking causes me headaches.

Even with a good night’s sleep, my brain’s battery is never at full charge and every little thing I do draws more energy from the battery than it used to.

The 3D glasses represent the vision therapy exercises I do to try to be able to read without triggering a headache.

Explanation of Mask

“Lost”

• Dark side – of the injury and the emotions I am to manage each day.
• Lighter side – where I am headed

Explanation of Mask

Represents me in my “new” life appropriately.

Explanation of Mask

• Hope that I can express the emotion which is behind the brave, loving faces of my cause.
• My experiences as a son and brother (flower); as a teammate (hockey stock); as an athlete (maple Leafs); a classmate (holding hands).
• Passionate supportive humans ♥♥♥ were all greatly impacted by my ABI.
• Battling physical inflammation
• Feeling humbled in class – repeated readings
• Feeling slow and frustrated
• Due to physical injuries, broken jaw, orbital bones, fracture, my ABI went undiagnosed for quite some time. This to be became an obstacle rather than a challenge.

Explanation of Mask

Different emotions post-accident. Sense of loss and confusion.

Explanation of Mask

“Fish Out of Water”

Struggles to accept new reality.